THE MOMENT
“You’re kidding?” I asked. I sat on the bed, kicking my shoes off for the night. My wife of four years just informed me about a decision she made without my input. I made a decision too. There would not be a fifth year.
“Well it’s not like you had any suggestions.” She snarked at me. She finished changing and stood in the middle of the room like a lighthouse of disappointment with her glare of dissatisfaction cast in my direction. Her eyes were a warm jade color once. Over the years they became bluer. Colder. I went to the closet and picked out some clothes. When she told me her decision her eyes scanned me up and down; I saw a trace of, “You’re wearing that?” flicker across her face while she told me her decision. I looked at her while I pulled my jacket on, and shrugged.
“I didn’t know I needed to come up with a suggestion. Maybe if you’d communicate I’d be more on the ball,” I said. Communication was supposed to be a major cornerstone of our relationship, according to our couples’ therapist. She seemed to consider it a suggestion more than anything. “Friday nights are supposed to be our nights.” I grumbled at the beige capet while I put my shoes on. She still heard me.
“It’s still our night, I just want to change things up a bit,” she said with her back to me. She walked out of the room once I was about ready. I followed her out to the foyer and grabbed the car keys from the leather pocket dump.
“Are you sure?” I asked. One more chance for her to change her mind.
“Yes.” She said and walked out the front door. I followed behind, locking the front door on my way out. Once I got us on the road, I had to know how her decision came about. It almost felt like she was trying to kill me. The way our relationship had been going lately, it would not surprise me.
“What brought this on?” I asked.
“What needs to be brought on? I just felt like it, okay? You don’t have to come, you know. You’re the one determined to make this our night.” She stared out the window while she spoke. I was done. I pulled the car over and got out. We hadn’t gone very far. I could walk home, pack my handful of possessions and be out before she got back.
“You’re right, I’m the only one that wants this to work, so I’m giving up.” I waved at her before I shut the car door. “I hope you have a nice life.” I began walking back towards the house, deciding to take a shortcut through the woods. I doubted she would try to follow me with the car, but going through the woods ensured that she didn’t. After walking for about 10 minutes I felt my phone vibrate. I glanced at the notification and saw it was a text from my wife. Instead of answering it I powered down the phone and put it away.
I found a nice tree stump to sit on and reflect on my life. The sun was setting, and the forest was bathed in a warm orange light. I caught glimpses of fireflies darting about.
“What changed?” I asked aloud. I was alone with the trees, and it felt comfortable. My wife had not always been so antagonistic. We were in love at the beginning of our marriage, and the three years we dated before that. I tried to pinpoint the exact moment our relationship turned as sour as expired milk.
“You changed.” I heard a voice say. I jumped from the stump. My eyes scanned the clearing, but I saw nothing but fireflies and trees. My heart started to calm down. It occurred to me that if I was going to go crazy, I might as well get some answers.
“What changed?” I asked again. I waited in the silence for a bit. A glowing, green firefly flew up to my face.
“You changed.” It was a fairy. I stared at her small figure and sparkling wings.
“Fairies are real?” I asked.
“Focus.” The tiny woman said while she hovered. “YOU changed. Not her.”
“Okay. Putting aside the ‘fairies are real?’ discussion. What would you even know about me? About my relationship with my wife?” I asked. The fairy’s arms made a wide gesture to indicate the woods.
“We live in this forest, it’s pretty close to your house. You used to have great food there but we stopped going.”
“You guys are stealing my food?” The fairy sighed. Though her face was no bigger than the tip of my pinky finger, I felt positive I saw her eyes roll.
“Focus! Do you love your wife?”
“Of course! But what’s the point if she doesn’t love me?”
“She DOES love you, but you’ve changed. You’re too caught up in yourself to realize it. You know this frustration you’re feeling right now? That’s what she’s going through too, but you’re so concerned about how SHE changed, she hasn’t by the way, that you’re not realizing you’re the one that changed.” The fairy fluttered to my shoulder and took a rest. Her wings stopped flapping and she felt like a heavy insect on me. It took all my will power not to brush her off in a panic.
“Alright. So, what? Do I have to go on a quest for you or something, to learn about how I’ve changed?” I asked. I’d read enough fairy tales to know how things worked.
“No one’s got time for that. I’ll make it really easy. Where were you headed tonight?”
“To the -” I stopped.
“Oh.”
“YOU GOT IT!” The green fairy fluttered up in the air and cheered for me. “I thought I might have to spell it out for you, but you got it on the first go. So get out there and make it right.”
“Thanks fairy!” I said and she covered her ears. I realized I must have yelled. ”Sorry,” I said, quieter.
“Just start leaving out good food again, and we’ll call it even.” The fairy gave me a tiny thumbs up gesture and fluttered off. I wondered if I’d ever see her again. I ran through the forest to my home, deciding to turn my phone back on, on the way. I had several messages from my wife, thankfully she was more worried than annoyed. When I reached my house I picked up the other car and drove out to meet my wife. Friday night was our night, and we would spend it wherever she wanted. I had not realized how much she gave up for me, but the fairie’s message cleared everything up.
Two years ago I’d become lactose intolerant. Dairy was no longer allowed in the house. I had no idea how much my wife loved cheese, but I would work with her on it. Once I got back on the road I headed straight to place we first met. I berated myself for not realizing it sooner. I was so focused on her wanting to go to a pizza place that I did not realize it was OUR pizza place. I decided there would be a fifth year, and many more after that.