THE MOMENT
"Your mother?" Ballisea smiled at the teenager asking the question. Jubilee summoned Ballisea the Demon Queen to ask a question, and the two of them stood outside in vast, endless plain with lush purple grass. The sky was pink and orange with the colors of sunrise. Jubilee was confident; but, she wasn't sure Ballisea would be willing to help. And, she was less positive that the goddess wouldn't decide to turn violent for the fun of it. She knew she was risking her life any time she talked to her, and this time she called her to an empty Earth, just in case.
"What makes you think she was anyone I'm interested in remembering?" Ballisea asked. It was the best answer Jubilee could have expected, and it told her everything she needed to know. Every interaction with Ballisea was a game. She wouldn't continue the conversation unless Jubilee played along. There wasn't any doubt Ballisea would remember Jubilee's mother; Jubilee could be considered something of a grandchild to the ancient sun goddess. She wanted to know what Jubilee knew first.
"Because my dad is part of your Void Court, and I'd assume you would at least be aware when one of them gets married and has a family. You didn't test my mom with any games? That seems like a missed opportunity," she giggled.
"Blueberry...," she used her preferred title for Jubilee's dad. "...is only in the Void Court due to apathy on all our parts," she giggled. "Your father has long since neglected his duties, and until he chooses a successor, I have no interest in his private life. But, I suppose it was in there somewhere. It seems that discussing the failures of your father, did remind me of someone. Her name was Jenny," Ballisea said. She looked down and locked her golden eyes onto Jubilee's to gauge her reaction.
"Jenny...," Jubilee smiled. "Thank you!" There was more missing, and she knew Ballisea had more to share; but, having that name confirmed eased her mind a lot. That particular name had been on the tip of her tongue in the last few months when she really started missing her mother. It was the strangest feeling. Her mother had never been in her life as long as she could remember, but lately, she felt a sudden emptiness without knowing anything about her mom. She ignored it as long as she could, and by the time she was ready to ask her dad, he'd gone away on an extended trip. Ballisea was the only other person she could ask.
"What else can you tell me about her?" Jubilee asked. She had a specific question in mind, but she hesitated as soon as she opened her mouth.
"Too much," Ballisea smiled.
"Oh. Uh..," Jubilee sighed, and closed her eyes for a second. Ballisea made her choose a question, and there was no guarantee she would get more than one. She had to know. She took a breath for courage as she opened her eyes.
"Is she alive?"
"Answering that would require something of a philosophical discussion regarding the nature of life and death," Ballisea shook her head. "Surely, there's something I could tell you," she offered.
It wasn't what she wanted to hear. But, again, it was the best answer she could've hoped for. It meant there were bigger things in play if it wasn't a simple yes or no question. Ballisea was being unusually helpful in offering her another chance, and Jubilee guessed it had something to do with her mother. But, she couldn't decide what that was. As she stood there wondering about her mother's relationship to Ballisea, she had a sudden insight. If her initial feeling was that there were bigger things in play, Ballisea absolutely qualified.
"Do you know why she's not here?" Jubilee asked. Her mind was quick enough to phrase things carefully. It was important that she didn't ask why her mother left. She had a feeling that might be philosophically dependent, like the question of her being alive.
"Do I know?" Ballisea smiled and shook her head. "No. I'm ready to be doing something else now, you have one more question," she said. The game was almost over. But, that was because Jubilee was close to winning. That was a big clue and Jubilee's gears spun even faster.
They weren't even on the topic of her mother anymore, and Jubilee had to adapt fast. Ballisea made it about herself, and that was a helpful hint too. Jubilee knew she couldn't ask anything about her mother, not if she wanted the right answers. But it was too convoluted. Her mind tripped over itself, and she blanked out as she imagined the perfect question. Instead of recovering and trying again, her mouth decided to go with the half-baked insult she'd made as an off-hand joke to herself.
"You don't know?" She repeated with more than a little sarcasm. "What, did you forget or something?" Her eyes widened as she realized Ballisea had a reason to take offense. But, fortunately, Ballisea giggled softly.
"I've forgotten more than you'll ever learn, child," she said as a black portal opened next to her. The game was over, and Jubilee had lost. "The strange thing about memories is, you can't choose which ones to forget. Take you, for example," Ballisea stepped into the portal while finishing her thought.
"Every day, week, and year that goes by, you'll grow more and more until this version of you is nothing but a forgotten memory to your future self...," she said.
"I know...," Jubilee nodded. She thought that was the end. Ballisea giggled. And, she spoke one more line before the portal closed to leave Jubilee alone with her thoughts.
"But, as much as I want to, I can't seem to forget that this isn't my favorite version of you."