Pineapple Cup ‘23

Stellar Onboarding

Content note: Startling dragon/serpent-like appearance and brief fear of being eaten (depicted surprise and imagined danger; non-graphic).

Source date: 2023-09-20SST date: Pineapple Cup '23, September 204 min readComplete text

Original writing prompt

Tired of your current job, you start applying for roles at different companies. Today you've got a response.
Cover illustration for Stellar Onboarding
Stellar Onboarding · Source date: 2023-09-20
Original response reference

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THE MOMENT

It was too nice a day to be at a job he hated. But, that didn't mean Orion wasn't working. He sat on the beach both to maintain his tan and apply for other jobs. He was in his late 30s and took a lot of pride in his appearance. It was hard work to look as good as he did. He understood the problem was him and not the job itself; not everyone was meant to work in a cubicle. But, the confined spaces and grumpy coworkers rubbed him in all the wrong ways. He completed another application and sent it. Then, he set his phone down to take a break. That was the third application this morning and it wasn't even 9:00 a.m. yet.

He dozed off to the sound of waves and a notification chime woke him up. The sound told him it was an email and he picked up his phone to check.

"Chroma Corp... already?" The last application he sent was to Chroma Corp. It had been a little over 20 minutes since he sent it. The subject read: 'Welcome to Chroma Corp.'; but, Orion knew better than to get his hopes up. He'd been directed to send misleading emails like that himself to offer promotions more than anything. It told him that they likely didn't actually read his email or his application got routed to a wrong department somewhere. He was almost discouraged enough to leave it unread but changed his mind. It wasn't like he couldn't afford to lose a little time to make sure it was what he thought.

"You're hired. Please let me know when you're available for orientation." - Meredith.

"Huh...," Orion wasn't sure what to think. It seemed almost too easy. He was expecting at least two rounds of interviews and landed the job with none. The informal email also seemed suspect. He decided to take it at face value until he learned not to. He had nothing to lose by replying and sent one right away. "Thank you! I'm available now/ today. Where should I head? What time is best for you?"

He set the phone down and leaned back on his chaise again. He closed his eyes for a moment but he heard a giant splash seconds before he felt more than a few drops land on him. Orion opened his eyes and sat up in time to see an aquamarine serpent beast still leaving the water while its head was right in front of him. He yelped and scrambled to his feet. He even ran away several steps before turning around to see how close it was.

In the three seconds he took his eyes off it, the beast changed. That had to be the only explanation for the short tan woman standing on the beach at Orion's towel. She had green-blue stubble on her bald head and a matching rat tail draped over the front of her shoulder. The woman looked at him with an amused smile and crossed her arms to wait for his return.

"Are...," Orion wasn't sure she could hear him from there and he walked back. ".. Are you a sea serpent?" he asked. It was a stupid question, she obviously was. But, he was more interested in learning if she could speak. She had a human shape and wore human clothes; a loose flowing tunic and leather pants. She resembled a pirate and he was curious about her.

"Sea Dragon," she corrected him. "Hi, I'm Meredith, ready for orientation?" she asked.

"Meredith!?? From Chroma Corp.?" he asked. She nodded. "My boss is a dragon?" he asked. It was a rhetorical question just because it was fun to say out loud.

"Chroma Corp. is owned by a dragon, and several members of our management team, including me, are dragons as well," she said. Orion was already sold on the position. Whatever it was, working with dragons had to be more interesting than his current position. Unless they were going to eat him.

"Before we start... can I ask? Why'd I get hired so easily?" He didn't expect her to say 'because you're lunch', but he anticipated some subtle sign that he should be worried.

"Because you're Unique," Meredith answered.

"Unique.. how? My skills? Experience?" he asked. He would have liked a concrete explanation of why he was hired sight unseen.

"Your favorite number is 35," she said.

"I…," his first instinct was to deny it, but he couldn't. "I didn't even know I had one, how did you?" Meredith smiled at him and she made a casual gesture with her hand. Sand rose from the beach and formed a chair. Then, she nodded at it as she let herself fall back. Water leaped forward from the ocean to catch her in a liquid chair.

"Have a seat," she said. "We'll cover all that in orientation."

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