THE MOMENT
*POOF*
"- MEAN YOU CAN'T!??"
It happened so fast that Tom finished his complaint before he noticed the change in scenery. He no longer stood in his own home and the lamp was gone. He found himself in a white lobby with a row of information windows.
"Mr. Brant, it seems you've been giving one of our genies a hard time," a voice spoke up from the closest window. "If you'll please step over here we can try and sort this out for you." A young man wearing a white suit and red tie gestured at him from the window. Tom was confused about how and why he was there; but, he understood bureaucracy. He approached the window to get a grip on the situation.
"You know me? How'd I get here? Where is this?" Tom fired off his questions as he leaned on the counter.
"Oh yes, all your interactions with our employee are documented," he nodded. "You're here because your case has been escalated. Sharp Development doesn't appreciate our employees being berated for doing their job," he grinned. "It's not their fault you're incapable of understanding the basics."
"I understand the basics just fine, thank you," Tom replied. "It's why I didn't make a wish until I had a lawyer make it airtight."
"That's exactly the trouble," the clerk answered. "We always get people like you who think they can 'cheat the system' if they use just the right words. Most of them are easily corrected but, you're proving to be quite stubborn."
"Damn right, I am!" Tom knew the clerk wasn't at fault for anything either. But, he wasn't going to let them walk all over him. He found a genie. He was entitled to wishes. It was as simple as that. "Those are my wishes and I have them worded exactly the way I want. Your employee...," he stressed the word with a hint of mockery. "... insists he can't make that wish. That's his whole job!"
"Not exactly. Genies don't grant wishes themselves; they're more like 'Access Points'," the clerk said. "You give the genie your wish and he puts it through a direct line to the universe. The 'UNIVERSE' decides how to deliver your wish; neither the genie nor Sharp Development has that direct access."
"YOUR GUY IS REFUSING TO PUT IT THROUGH!" Tom raised his voice; the frustration was too much. He'd spent months working with a lawyer to craft the perfect set of wishes and now he couldn't even get the first one.
"For your own safety," the clerk nodded. "Our company also looks out for the clients. What you're attempting is almost certainly going to backfire. "
"So,..." Tom glanced around the lobby again. It was relatively empty with only two other windows in service and no line. "...I was escalated to here. That means this is a higher level, right? YOU can put my wish through, right?"
"I could," the clerk's smirk blossomed into a full smile. "I'm obligated to advise you against it; but, personally, I'd be happy to," he chuckled. Tom wasn't going to let the clerk's amateurish reverse psychology work on him. He had wishes to make.
"Then do it!" Tom said.
"First, you need to understand what you're asking," he continued with a pleasant smile. "Have you ever been inclined to help someone? Yet, before you do, they come and tell you what to do and how to do it. That moment of instant bitterness and annoyance at being obligated to do something that you were already planning on. It sours everything; the universe doesn't like that either," the clerk said. "It's liable to either outright refuse or comply quite maliciously."
"You're not going to distract me with your new-age nonsense," Tom shook his head. "I have wishes. I found a genie. I'm entitled to get what I want!" he said. "What's the point of a genie that doesn't grant wishes?"
"I think you're confounding a couple of details," the clerk chuckled. "Genies do their thing and the universe does grant 'WISHES'. Hopes, dreams, thoughts & prayers all qualify. You're trying to give it a comprehensive instruction manual and micro-managing every little detail; the universe isn't a fan of that approach. And, for the record; the universe is far more vast than you can imagine. You may -think- you've thought of everything, but you can still be surprised."
"Is that the whole disclaimer?" Tom asked. "I trust my lawyer. Just get it over with and put my wish through."
"Certainly, sir. We'll start with the first wish," the clerk's fingers did some rapid typing along with a handful of mouse clicks. "I've got the first one ready to go; being the richest man in the world, and all your little loopholes are closed. This is your last chance to make some changes before I submit it. Are you sure you don't want to recon-"
"I'm sure! Grant my wish!" Tom said. The clerk hit the enter button.
*POOF* Tom vanished from the lobby in an instant.
"That was fast," he chuckled to himself, then navigated the menus a little more. "...Oh, ew, gross," he closed the popup window that showed him where Tom disappeared to. "Well, he got what he wanted," he sighed as he leaned back to wait for the next complaint.
"Nope, I need something to get that out of my brain...," he shook his head and searched for cute cat pictures instead. Anything to get rid of the image of Tom. He was now rich, creamy milk chocolate, and being served at an upscale dinner party on an Earth that was solely populated by women.