THE MOMENT
"Hello, Mr. Waltman," the gorgeous blonde woman smiled as she walked into his hospital room. His body shuffled and slid like sand as he tried to sit up and make himself handsomer somehow. He didn't know who she was, but he very much wished he didn't look like a human-shaped pile of white dust. "Chroma Corp. asked me to stop by and have a chat with you," she said as she walked around to the side of his bed and offered her hand. "My name's Andie."
"Nathan," he moved to accept her greeting, but his hand didn't go along with it, and the rest of his wrist crumbled before he got very far. Then, his arm reformed at his side when he relaxed. "Sorry," he said.
Talking felt weird enough that he tried not to do it too much. He could feel the nanos vibrating in his throat as he spoke, but he couldn't feel his lips move, and he wasn't sure they were. He was curious about why she was there, but he hoped she would bring it up. Chroma Corp. owned the hospital that saved his life, though Andie didn't look like a doctor or even a nurse. She wore a white housedress dotted with blue stars.
"That's alright, Mr. Nathan," Andie nodded at him. "That's what I'm here to talk to you about. The doctors are concerned that you're having trouble adjusting to the new 'you'," she said. Despite the situation, Nathan wasn't overly miserable. It was too removed from anything he'd ever experienced to compare, but he felt like the only complaint he had was his lack of cohesion. He was in fair humor, and as soon as Andie revealed why she was there, he couldn't help but laugh. Every single one of his trillion nanos vibrated with amusement.
"Trouble adjusting?" he asked with a chuckle. "I'm powder," he laughed some more. Andie laughed along with him, and he got the impression it was genuine.
"It looks like that illustrates their point quite well," she said.
"Huh?" he stopped laughing instantly. In his mind, he thought he was coping okay. His initial rage at never being human again was gone within the first two weeks, and he made peace with being alive, regardless of his form. He even had regular visits from co-workers he'd never considered more than acquaintances, and he learned to appreciate those relationships even more. He had actual friends now, and it felt like he'd been given a second chance. He was also okay with never having a normal life again and being stuck as trillions of tiny pieces. "I mean, except for being kind of incorporeal, my mood's pretty great," he said.
"That's the issue," Andie nodded. "You're in good spirits, you've made peace with the situation. You should be fine," she gestured at the sapient pile with bright brown eyes. It was almost insulting, but Nathan chose not to take offense. She was basically telling him to 'walk it off'.
"I think you don't....," he said. He had to pause every now and then to make sure all his pieces were still where he wanted them. "....understand my exact....," he paused again, and Andie remained friendly and attentive as she waited patiently to hear him. "...situation...I was human once, like you. Now I'm made of trillions of tiny nanos. Only a month," he used short sentences. "...and it's not easy to pull myself together."
"You're right," Andie nodded. "However, it's definitely much harder when your practice is flawed."
"First time we've met," he sighed to let the annoyance go. He was reminding himself too, so he didn't want to jump to any conclusions about her intentions. "You don't know."
"I think I have an idea, Mr. Nathan," Andie replied with her permanent smile.
"Okay, let's hear it," he said. He decided it would go quicker if he could point out where she was wrong.
"You referred to yourself as 'powder'," she said.
"I am," replied. But, she shook her head.
"You're not what you're made of, you're greater than that," she said.
"Easy for you to say," he replied. And, he was finally annoyed enough to continue talking without hesitation. "I'd like to see you try and pull yourself together from trillions of pieces!" Andie winked at him and her smile grew broader.
"You have," she said. As she answered, her curly blonde hair seemed to lose focus. Her face went blurry, and Nathan was staring at an upright figure made from trillions of tiny white particles. She remained in that form for a moment, then tightened back up to her human body, without a single speck out of place. "It's why Chroma Corp. sent me," she said.
"If you want to get technical, I'm a sapient A.I. that was given a body of nanos, much like yours."
"Well, I'm not A.I.," Nathan chuckled. He'd lost his annoyance now that he knew more about her, and his humor was coming back.
"No, but you were human," she said. "Your problem is right here," she tapped her temple. "You woke up from a terrible accident, and the first thing they told you was that your body was made up of trillions of nanos. So, naturally, your first thought is 'how do I control all of those at once?', right?" she asked, but kept going with her answer.
"But, that's the wrong way to look at it. If you think about it, your human body was made up of trillions of cells too, right? Did you try and keep them together?"
"That's different," Nathan shook his head. "I couldn't feel each one. And, they evolved to work naturally, for me."
"Did you ever try, as a human?" Andie smiled. "And, don't you think the nanos were programmed to work naturally for you in the same way?"
"So.. what.. I just let them do what they're going to do?"
"It's a little nuanced," Andie shrugged. "But, I'll tell you a super simple shortcut. Don't try to be a trillion nanos working together; just focus on being your singular self that you've always been."