THE MOMENT
"I'll have to read it, of course," Geoffrey said. He moved to his white leather couch and sat down to study the document. The spindly demon in a navy blue suit shrugged but he did not attempt to hide his eye roll.
"Sure," The demon replied. He remained on his feet; but, he pulled out a card-sized pane of glass and began using it as a smartphone to occupy his boredom. Geoffrey noted the device but focused on the contract. The fact that it was only one sheet gave him the impression it would be easy. But the font was almost illegibly small.
"What's a Unique Soul?" Geoffrey asked after almost 15 minutes. The phrase was used frequently on his first pass through the contract. He liked to check if contracts were worthless before he studied them in-depth too much. He was only mildly surprised to discover that the contract was very tight.
"What?" the demon looked up from a video he was watching on his gadget. He had moved to a rocking chair after it became obvious Geoffrey was serious about checking the contract.
"It says that if I sign this I'm ineligible to become a Unique Soul."
"Other alternate Earths exist," the demon replied. "On many of those Earths there are other versions of you. When every single one of you finally dies, all your souls are combined into one Unique Soul to live another life. This excludes you from that, under most conditions."
"Under most conditions?" Geoffrey asked. The new information about alternate Earths was a surprise; but, he was used to thinking on his feet. He was in work mode and the demon gave him a way in without realizing it.
"God and Satan both have their whims," the demon shrugged. "And some people have negotiated themselves out of it."
"Let's start there," Geoffrey sat up straight and focused on the red-skinned, horned man. "I want to be a part of that Unique Soul thing, how do I make it happen?"
"Don't sign that," the demon chuckled.
"Nonsense," Geoffrey replied. "This is a negotiation. What will it take to save my soul?"
"A negotiation?" the demon asked. He stood up and shook his head.
"I'm not authorized to negotiate contract changes. You'll have to talk to my manager." Geoffrey would have laughed if he wasn't so focused on his goal.
"Then, get your manager," Geoffrey said.
"Fine," the demon sighed. "Here," he pressed a button then handed the glass card to Geoffrey. "This might take a little bit. You can use my node to learn about Unique Souls while I'm gone." He disappeared in a puff of cinnamon-scented red smoke.
Geoffrey looked at the device and pressed the icon that said "Tutorial". He had just finished the first section when another puff of red smoke filled the room. Geoffrey looked up and was surprised to see a rainbow-haired teen girl instead of the demon.
"Hey Geoff, I'm Monday. You wanted to negotiate your contract?" she asked.
"Geoffrey, please," he corrected her with a nod. "This contract is more or less acceptable, but ;I'm not ready to sign away my soul's right to become Unique. What other arrangements can we make?"
"None," Monday smiled. She held out her hand with an open palm. "I need that node back, please."
"Wait a minute," Geoffrey pulled the node away reflexively. He'd been amazed by the technology and everything he learned in the past half hour while waiting. After a second thought, he handed it to Monday while explaining himself. "I was told that people have talked themselves out of a permanent Hell. You have to give me a chance."
"Sorry," Monday shrugged. "It's actually my first day as management and I've made some policy changes. I don't have to do anything." She waved and Geoffrey panicked. She was about to leave and take his dream life with her.
“Wait! You haven’t even heard my counter-offer!” Red smoke appeared when she waved; but, it faded when Geoffrey mentioned his offer.
“I’m listening,” Monday said.
“I’m a very successful, prestigious contract negotiator. I think I have a lot of value to add to your organization. Maybe I can spend some time working for Hell instead of being damned for eternity?”
“No thanks,” Monday shook her head.
“But-” Geoffrey’s protest was interrupted by Monday.
“Geoffrey…,” she said with a broad smile. “... you can’t possibly be as good at negotiation as you think you are. For one thing, you’re missing a very obvious, important detail.”
“Huh?” he asked. “What’s that?”
Red, sweet smoke plumed around Monday. She was gone when it cleared; but, she left him with one final piece of advice.
“It takes two to negotiate. Your soul isn't worth spending any more time here.”