THE MOMENT
"Hey, what're you doing here?" Albert patted Eddie's shoulder as he sat next to him at the counter. It was still early in the evening and Albert chose the diner for dinner; but, he was surprised to see his friend there snacking on some fried pickles. "You've been hyped about your date all week, everything okay?" They weren't best friends, nor even close friends. They were just familiar coworkers that got along well outside the office; but, Albert was genuinely concerned.
"Heh, I'm not actually sure," Eddie chuckled. "I stopped by to pick her up.... and then, she sent me away. It was a pretty surprising reaction."
"Sent you away?" Albert asked the question first, then the waitress appeared to take his order. It was a brief distraction, but once she walked away he turned back to Eddie. "What do you mean she sent you away? What happened?"
"Literally nothing?" Eddie shrugged. Albert smirked to himself. Around the office Eddie was considered slightly un-intelligent. Albert wasn't as mean about it as some of their coworkers; but, had to admit there was a certain truth to that. "I showed up. She seemed really happy to see me, then, she shooed me away saying she decided to do something different for tonight," he shrugged.
"Is it a plant thing, do you think?" Albert asked to be helpful.
"She's not a 'plant'," Eddie shook his head. "She's a Suneater. But, no, I don't think it was anything to do with her heritage...., I don't think...," he answered, then popped another pickle into his mouth.
"Well, you look presentable," Albert laughed. "Nothing's hanging out of your nose, and nothing's stuck in your teeth. Don't ever repeat this, but you smell good too," he added.
"Thanks," Eddie nodded.
"Well, don't take it so hard. We'll never know what women are thinking, much less non-human women. How bout a beer?" he asked. Eddie shook his head.
"Thank you, no," he said. "She might call me any minute now."
"She sent you away... and you think she's going to call you back?" Albert asked. In his mind, he was already restructuring his whole night to keep Eddie company. They weren't close; but, Albert didn't think someone who just had their heart broken should be a lone.
"Yeah," Eddie nodded. "I mean, you know I'm not good with social stuff...," he added.
"Did she say she was going to call you?" Albert asked. It was theoretically an easy question to answer.
"Well, no...," Eddie sighed. "... but she said she wanted to do something else. That should include me, right? We had plans, and now she wants to change our plans."
"Well, alright," Albert decided to humor him just enough for the poor guy to learn the lesson. "Let's take it from the top. Give me all the details. Tell me exactly what happened when you showed up."
"I showed up. We hugged, then she sent me away," he replied. Albert shook his head.
"Everything," he reminded his friend. At work, he had a tendency to miss details.
"I parked on the street and turned off the car. I grabbed the bouquet from the passenger seat...," he continued explaining, but Albert had already found the problem. He waited for Eddie to finish without interrupting; it gave him a chance to tone down his reaction. "... then, I pulled the flowers out from behind my back and she went wild. She started shoving me and shooing me away... so, I walked here to kill some time." Albert was mildly annoyed that Eddie had so much time to think about it, and still hadn't spotted the issue. Not even after relaying it aloud to him.
"I'm sorry," Albert shook his head. "You gave the PLANT alien you're dating a bouquet of flowers - the equivalent of gifting someone a sack of dead kittens or puppies or whatever- and you're SURPRISED at her reaction?!" he at least tried not to yell with every word. It was partially annoyance, and partially trying to pierce Eddie's dense skull.
".....well, when you put it like that...," Eddie nodded as if he understood. And, he developed his own annoyed expression. It was the first time Albert had ever seen it, Eddie was usually pretty laid back. He wasn't intelligent enough to get stressed. "But, she's not a plant, and she's not an alien. She's just from an alternate universe, I'd appreciate you not talking about her like that," he said.
"She broke your heart, man," Albert shook his head. "I mean, obviously it was your fault, but still. You don't gotta defend her." As he tried to get through to him, Eddie's phone dinged with a notification, and he glanced at it, then chuckled.
"It's funny," he smirked. "I know I get a lot of flack around the office for missing details; but, dang. At least I don't go around making wild assumptions," he said as he hopped off the stool with a spring in his step.
"What are you talking about?" Albert asked.
"I've had some time to think about it, and you actually made a really good point that I hadn't thought of. I said she shooed me away. I didn't think it was important to mention she was kissing me the whole time, kind of private you know?" he said as he placed a $20 on the counter for the pickles.
"But, it was surprising, I thought they were just flowers and I had no idea why she was so happy. So, when she sent me away, I just came here because she lives right around the corner. Your point kind of cleared up why she was so wildly happy."
"Wait... she was happy about the flowers?" Albert asked.
"Yeah," Eddie chuckled. "It was a pretty big bouquet, it wasn't even that hidden behind my back so I know she saw it coming. But, your example about kittens or puppies made me realize... I accidentally gave her the equivalent of a mink coat on our first date. Apparently, she decided to kick up the romance tonight instead of the plans we had, and she's waiting for me at her place. See ya at work!"